fine

Why don't i get the chance to say what i really want, to you? i have lots of things in me, waiting to be unfurled, presented to you. as i text this down, in my mind, i know that existing quarrels are inevitable. everytime we have to disagree, in my face is just a look of wanting to understand you. nothing more, nothing less. no matter. i love you. i want to be with you. however, we being together is just limited by necessity. necessity that proves a visage that is not cleary seen. a necessity that i want to embrace every moment that i can, with you.

as i listening to the strumming of the guitar, i realise that, alot of life, vibrace, fills the instrument. the vibrance fills me. like a water hole. being filled up, but can never be filled to the brim. however, it remains constant. as the music stays in me. it will be the part of me, and the beats that surround the intellect will be the constant of my life.
-music is not what you hear, but what you experience.

after all these years i have came along. i am standing at the beginning, looking what we have done. after i see the things in the gray area. i see that that is the future of what lies ahead. the things that i have yet to do. the things that are like strangers to me. the journey like a crazy adventure. this is, however, life. it may be wonderful, for all the things that i have done. i see that my past are nothing but bits and pieces of what i have done. buildings constructed halfway, left derelict, unused but seemed used. that's failure.
-starting out on a crazy adventure hunt

sometime, somewhere,
we will meet again,
here,
unspoken,
unnoticed.
only to see you,
walking away again.
silent,
unrelenting.

-XyeThesis

Escapism

As i allowed the past to haunt me on the things that i have done and not yet exterminated. it has given me a sense of insecurity. the kind of insecurity that makes me peek at every turn, a jump for every small crevasse. i try and tried like i have never tried before, however, i am dead. the other half lives in the dark, incomplete, and uncertain of seeing the light.
-"Then you will know the truth , and the truth will set you free", John 8:32

for years i was running away, but after one moment with you, i learnt what it is to truly escape. right now, after i have left you, i have seen myself running, running away from the things that you used to run beside me for. now i am lost, and i am almost lost without you. God is my only strength, somehow, i do not have the face to face him. even if i were to lay down my defences, i do not know how to face him. the guilt, the pain. i need a breakthrough.
-Pray that your loneliness will spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.

As i got back papers which i had done, a sense of shame, disappointment, escapism and most of all taken aback. complacency kills the soul, the ability to work well for and extra metre. somehow, i have never felt pleasure and pain like this before. i do not know whether to be happy or remorseful. somehow, i have changed alot. just somehow...
-"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Shakespeare, Hamlet

Today i have recieved my staff sergeant rank (finally). Well, mr lim already has prepared by station inspector rank ready. all i need to do now is just to score for my ssg test. yes, i have taken it yet. but hey... i'm happy.


-XyeThesis
`time is a real and constant motion, alway blowing us along. tell me who wants to look back on their past and wonder where those years have gone.

Love goes everywhere

Can't you tell me? You said that love goes everywhere. In the darkest time, it's enough to know it's there. For that, i feel and i know where you'll be. It's the thing that made me care everything you mean. I just look at you and know that the world was beautiful.-
-I was just hoping that you would come along like an ordinary person, just to let me know that you are the special one in my life.

A new day has come, you thought that things were just going to be the same. Alas, exams are not the worries of the everyday fame. Disappointments snares you for hope. Fear robs you for the daily dose of courage. Anxiety that withdraws us of our sanity. For all these, we act on our daily instincts. The kind that will only take us further and further away.

-XyeThesis
`"Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't" William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 2 scene 2

Still as friends?

Just yet another day, i was thinking of you. Hope you appeared but you were obscured. was is limited by necessity? or was it just another chore? some things should change, for the better. i have always wish you happiness, just to see that smile that you don. perhaps you never seen me all these while, perhaps you weren't really there anymore. no matter, there's only time, time for me to let go, to move on, to say goodbye. i am, you are, we are, broken.
-i have believed in you when you have ceased to believe yourself

Dreams that seemed far. Dreams that seemed untouchable. So far, so surreal. Coming through was never meant to be. Somehow, a glimmer of light, scintillating through the darkness. in the darkness, that was the light of the world. hope, may all be someone that has all they have. nothing else, just hopes. they're just dreams. they will come true, in a few days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, or maybe, just maybe, forever.
-even though i dream the dreams that never were, there's just one thing to say, "why not?"

the thought of renounce what i do was far from being disillusioned. as i have thought many thousands of people in the world, no more or less intelligent than me, have indeed gone through what i have, but they have found a way out it. this gives me renewed hope. it's a battle that i have to fight, a battle at arms. hoping to survive and prevail is not my intention, it is to be able to prevail and get over it...
-"every man has business and desire, such as it is" `William Shakespeare, "Hamlet" Act 1 Scene 5

Dearest best friend I have to be honest,
for the future I'm a little scared,
I enjoy your company and being in your presence,
our friendship could never be compared,
I just see how fastly time flies
it was only one year ago we met.
I remember the first time we called each other best friends,
that's one thing in life I won't forget,
but here we are in secondary school,
only 2 months for you to go.
Before you go off to college,
there are things you have to know.
that those times we spent with each other,
meant the most thing to me.
You tell me in texts and in notes,
for the things that we've done.
I have to tell you whenever I read them,
i'm on the verge of about to cry.
my mom told me,
all friends grow apart
you go to different places and start a family.
Those simple words broke my heart,
we just have way too many memories,
so many of your secrets lay within my ear,
so many times we forgave each other,
for hearing things we didn't want to hear,
so many inside jokes,
that only you and I would get.
i know we've had some bad times,
but all of them we regret,
i just don't know what I would do.
After parting, you'll have to live your life,
and knowing that fact makes me tremble.
I'll never be satisfied,
I'll enjoy this past years though,
I'll cherish the times we spent together,
I'm just afraid in the future we'll find out,
that nothing lasts forever...

-Perhaps it's my turn now, to forgive.

-XyeThesis
`"Pray you now, forget and forgive", William Shakespeare, "King Lear", Act 4 Scene 7

Fresh start

Okay! New blog, means a new start. I just want to let go of the past that i had for the past year. This feels like a new lease of life that has been breathe in me. I just want to get back to my artistic self, exactly one year ago. With my written work, i shall inspire.

So, the first person to view this wonderful blog was none other than Bao Hui! The credit also goes out to her as if not her, i would not have found such a marvelous template, and i also inadvertently apologise for the things i have not thank you yet. The second was my dear Angel. She's number 2! I miss her.

-XyeThesis
`somehow, all these while, when i saw you just like any other person on the road, you enthralled me like never before.

fine

Why don't i get the chance to say what i really want, to you? i have lots of things in me, waiting to be unfurled, presented to you. as i text this down, in my mind, i know that existing quarrels are inevitable. everytime we have to disagree, in my face is just a look of wanting to understand you. nothing more, nothing less. no matter. i love you. i want to be with you. however, we being together is just limited by necessity. necessity that proves a visage that is not cleary seen. a necessity that i want to embrace every moment that i can, with you.

as i listening to the strumming of the guitar, i realise that, alot of life, vibrace, fills the instrument. the vibrance fills me. like a water hole. being filled up, but can never be filled to the brim. however, it remains constant. as the music stays in me. it will be the part of me, and the beats that surround the intellect will be the constant of my life.
-music is not what you hear, but what you experience.

after all these years i have came along. i am standing at the beginning, looking what we have done. after i see the things in the gray area. i see that that is the future of what lies ahead. the things that i have yet to do. the things that are like strangers to me. the journey like a crazy adventure. this is, however, life. it may be wonderful, for all the things that i have done. i see that my past are nothing but bits and pieces of what i have done. buildings constructed halfway, left derelict, unused but seemed used. that's failure.
-starting out on a crazy adventure hunt

sometime, somewhere,
we will meet again,
here,
unspoken,
unnoticed.
only to see you,
walking away again.
silent,
unrelenting.

-XyeThesis

Escapism

As i allowed the past to haunt me on the things that i have done and not yet exterminated. it has given me a sense of insecurity. the kind of insecurity that makes me peek at every turn, a jump for every small crevasse. i try and tried like i have never tried before, however, i am dead. the other half lives in the dark, incomplete, and uncertain of seeing the light.
-"Then you will know the truth , and the truth will set you free", John 8:32

for years i was running away, but after one moment with you, i learnt what it is to truly escape. right now, after i have left you, i have seen myself running, running away from the things that you used to run beside me for. now i am lost, and i am almost lost without you. God is my only strength, somehow, i do not have the face to face him. even if i were to lay down my defences, i do not know how to face him. the guilt, the pain. i need a breakthrough.
-Pray that your loneliness will spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.

As i got back papers which i had done, a sense of shame, disappointment, escapism and most of all taken aback. complacency kills the soul, the ability to work well for and extra metre. somehow, i have never felt pleasure and pain like this before. i do not know whether to be happy or remorseful. somehow, i have changed alot. just somehow...
-"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Shakespeare, Hamlet

Today i have recieved my staff sergeant rank (finally). Well, mr lim already has prepared by station inspector rank ready. all i need to do now is just to score for my ssg test. yes, i have taken it yet. but hey... i'm happy.


-XyeThesis
`time is a real and constant motion, alway blowing us along. tell me who wants to look back on their past and wonder where those years have gone.

Love goes everywhere

Can't you tell me? You said that love goes everywhere. In the darkest time, it's enough to know it's there. For that, i feel and i know where you'll be. It's the thing that made me care everything you mean. I just look at you and know that the world was beautiful.-
-I was just hoping that you would come along like an ordinary person, just to let me know that you are the special one in my life.

A new day has come, you thought that things were just going to be the same. Alas, exams are not the worries of the everyday fame. Disappointments snares you for hope. Fear robs you for the daily dose of courage. Anxiety that withdraws us of our sanity. For all these, we act on our daily instincts. The kind that will only take us further and further away.

-XyeThesis
`"Though this be madness, yet there is method in 't" William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 2 scene 2

Still as friends?

Just yet another day, i was thinking of you. Hope you appeared but you were obscured. was is limited by necessity? or was it just another chore? some things should change, for the better. i have always wish you happiness, just to see that smile that you don. perhaps you never seen me all these while, perhaps you weren't really there anymore. no matter, there's only time, time for me to let go, to move on, to say goodbye. i am, you are, we are, broken.
-i have believed in you when you have ceased to believe yourself

Dreams that seemed far. Dreams that seemed untouchable. So far, so surreal. Coming through was never meant to be. Somehow, a glimmer of light, scintillating through the darkness. in the darkness, that was the light of the world. hope, may all be someone that has all they have. nothing else, just hopes. they're just dreams. they will come true, in a few days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, or maybe, just maybe, forever.
-even though i dream the dreams that never were, there's just one thing to say, "why not?"

the thought of renounce what i do was far from being disillusioned. as i have thought many thousands of people in the world, no more or less intelligent than me, have indeed gone through what i have, but they have found a way out it. this gives me renewed hope. it's a battle that i have to fight, a battle at arms. hoping to survive and prevail is not my intention, it is to be able to prevail and get over it...
-"every man has business and desire, such as it is" `William Shakespeare, "Hamlet" Act 1 Scene 5

Dearest best friend I have to be honest,
for the future I'm a little scared,
I enjoy your company and being in your presence,
our friendship could never be compared,
I just see how fastly time flies
it was only one year ago we met.
I remember the first time we called each other best friends,
that's one thing in life I won't forget,
but here we are in secondary school,
only 2 months for you to go.
Before you go off to college,
there are things you have to know.
that those times we spent with each other,
meant the most thing to me.
You tell me in texts and in notes,
for the things that we've done.
I have to tell you whenever I read them,
i'm on the verge of about to cry.
my mom told me,
all friends grow apart
you go to different places and start a family.
Those simple words broke my heart,
we just have way too many memories,
so many of your secrets lay within my ear,
so many times we forgave each other,
for hearing things we didn't want to hear,
so many inside jokes,
that only you and I would get.
i know we've had some bad times,
but all of them we regret,
i just don't know what I would do.
After parting, you'll have to live your life,
and knowing that fact makes me tremble.
I'll never be satisfied,
I'll enjoy this past years though,
I'll cherish the times we spent together,
I'm just afraid in the future we'll find out,
that nothing lasts forever...

-Perhaps it's my turn now, to forgive.

-XyeThesis
`"Pray you now, forget and forgive", William Shakespeare, "King Lear", Act 4 Scene 7

Fresh start

Okay! New blog, means a new start. I just want to let go of the past that i had for the past year. This feels like a new lease of life that has been breathe in me. I just want to get back to my artistic self, exactly one year ago. With my written work, i shall inspire.

So, the first person to view this wonderful blog was none other than Bao Hui! The credit also goes out to her as if not her, i would not have found such a marvelous template, and i also inadvertently apologise for the things i have not thank you yet. The second was my dear Angel. She's number 2! I miss her.

-XyeThesis
`somehow, all these while, when i saw you just like any other person on the road, you enthralled me like never before.