Escapism

As i allowed the past to haunt me on the things that i have done and not yet exterminated. it has given me a sense of insecurity. the kind of insecurity that makes me peek at every turn, a jump for every small crevasse. i try and tried like i have never tried before, however, i am dead. the other half lives in the dark, incomplete, and uncertain of seeing the light.
-"Then you will know the truth , and the truth will set you free", John 8:32

for years i was running away, but after one moment with you, i learnt what it is to truly escape. right now, after i have left you, i have seen myself running, running away from the things that you used to run beside me for. now i am lost, and i am almost lost without you. God is my only strength, somehow, i do not have the face to face him. even if i were to lay down my defences, i do not know how to face him. the guilt, the pain. i need a breakthrough.
-Pray that your loneliness will spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.

As i got back papers which i had done, a sense of shame, disappointment, escapism and most of all taken aback. complacency kills the soul, the ability to work well for and extra metre. somehow, i have never felt pleasure and pain like this before. i do not know whether to be happy or remorseful. somehow, i have changed alot. just somehow...
-"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Shakespeare, Hamlet

Today i have recieved my staff sergeant rank (finally). Well, mr lim already has prepared by station inspector rank ready. all i need to do now is just to score for my ssg test. yes, i have taken it yet. but hey... i'm happy.


-XyeThesis
`time is a real and constant motion, alway blowing us along. tell me who wants to look back on their past and wonder where those years have gone.

Escapism

As i allowed the past to haunt me on the things that i have done and not yet exterminated. it has given me a sense of insecurity. the kind of insecurity that makes me peek at every turn, a jump for every small crevasse. i try and tried like i have never tried before, however, i am dead. the other half lives in the dark, incomplete, and uncertain of seeing the light.
-"Then you will know the truth , and the truth will set you free", John 8:32

for years i was running away, but after one moment with you, i learnt what it is to truly escape. right now, after i have left you, i have seen myself running, running away from the things that you used to run beside me for. now i am lost, and i am almost lost without you. God is my only strength, somehow, i do not have the face to face him. even if i were to lay down my defences, i do not know how to face him. the guilt, the pain. i need a breakthrough.
-Pray that your loneliness will spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.

As i got back papers which i had done, a sense of shame, disappointment, escapism and most of all taken aback. complacency kills the soul, the ability to work well for and extra metre. somehow, i have never felt pleasure and pain like this before. i do not know whether to be happy or remorseful. somehow, i have changed alot. just somehow...
-"There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy." Shakespeare, Hamlet

Today i have recieved my staff sergeant rank (finally). Well, mr lim already has prepared by station inspector rank ready. all i need to do now is just to score for my ssg test. yes, i have taken it yet. but hey... i'm happy.


-XyeThesis
`time is a real and constant motion, alway blowing us along. tell me who wants to look back on their past and wonder where those years have gone.