A leap of faith?

"Sometimes in life, you may never always get what you wished for", those were the words of Mr Lim when he first taught me for Sec 3 English. Come to think of it, it is rather true. Or perhaps, it is indeed factual. After 2 years of hard work to get into a JC, only to find out today that i can't enter any one because i only take 6 subjects. Out of which, one is accounts, which does not count towards your L1R5 for entry into the College.

Midday yesterday, i messaged Fa. She replied. Somehow i just feel that i have indeed been demoted once again. I used to be - in her heart - at one time, someone she used to cherish. After we broke up, she became my best friend. After she became my best friend, she became my friend. Now, i don't even think she consideres me as her friend. All this in only 2 and a half years. I first met her in the NPCC Project Competition 2004. I never thought she'd make an impact on my life. I never thought i'd even keep in contact with her. I never thought i'd make a huge mistake. I never thought i had an episode of my life like this before. Mr Yong once said during a morning prayer this year that the life of someone are the chapters of his life. And we as student have just only begun writing our chapters. That 2 and a half years is a chapter. Everything in it, along with the feelings, the thoughts, the perceptions, the sights and the sounds. But like any other book with any other chapter, we can't remember all it's contents.

The following is something i wrote sometime back in April 2005, when i was still shattered over the break. Despite it happening 3 months before. It is entitled, 'Ironies'.

In the midst if life,

at one point or another,

you may discover,

that sometimes in life,

you may not always get what you wished for.

Ironically, the things you want may not be the things that you will get.

whereas others, can afford it.

While you stand there in admiration,

thinking about how to finance these pleasures,

you then realise that

you don't really want it anymore.

Menveer. Somehow, i mentored him. Somehow, he turned against me. I am a democratic leader. I admit that i do want power and control. However, not to the extent of being hungry for it. Menveer is one such person who is power hungry. Being in a world with the 'survival-of-the-fittest' attitude really stinks. I am not trying to be egoistical or anything but in my school's NPCC Unit, i am definitely the strongest leader in terms of knowledge and leadership. My OC and TOs however failed to realise that. My legacy will not remain for long. "Chee Keong has once took the unit all by himself". Apparently, they have failed to noticed the true meaning of leadership. It takes a leader to see through another leader. I am just wasting my time in this unit. My skills, my experience are wasted. NCOs that don't listen to me will lose a rifle and they did. I forsaw that. I really did. Intuition, some may say. The danger of losing something was right in my face and i knew it. "Logistics, stay inside the store. Record down and make those NCOs that borrow anything sign in and sign out.", Menveer said, "we've got our way of doing things". I've long given up on them. Now i know why many NCOs don't want to come back as a CI. Their advice isn't and will not be valued. Perhaps i should reconsider about becoming a CI.

Oh God, help me realise that somethings are really not in my control. Sometimes, the fire spreads wild enough to devour anything in its path. Father, it hurts when people don't listen to you. Therefore dad, i pray that you will help me listen to other people who needs help. People more worthy of advice and praise. People who are more grateful. At the same time, help me accept those that tried to correct me, be grateful and be worthy of more advice and praise.

All these i pray through Christ my Lord, Amen

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
( 2 Corinthians 4:8)

I believe i can fly.

I want to motivate others to do what they have to do.

I shall make others move a step further when they could not.

I will make people dream of achieving things that they never even thought of.

XyeThesis

`'I have often dreamed, of a far off place. Where a hero's welcome, will be waiting for me. And the crowds will cheer, when they see my face. And a voice keeps saying, this is where i'm meant to be. I'll be there someday, i can go the distance. I will find my way, if i can be strong."

-Michael Bolton's, "I can go the distance". Taken from Hercules Soundtrack.

A leap of faith?

"Sometimes in life, you may never always get what you wished for", those were the words of Mr Lim when he first taught me for Sec 3 English. Come to think of it, it is rather true. Or perhaps, it is indeed factual. After 2 years of hard work to get into a JC, only to find out today that i can't enter any one because i only take 6 subjects. Out of which, one is accounts, which does not count towards your L1R5 for entry into the College.

Midday yesterday, i messaged Fa. She replied. Somehow i just feel that i have indeed been demoted once again. I used to be - in her heart - at one time, someone she used to cherish. After we broke up, she became my best friend. After she became my best friend, she became my friend. Now, i don't even think she consideres me as her friend. All this in only 2 and a half years. I first met her in the NPCC Project Competition 2004. I never thought she'd make an impact on my life. I never thought i'd even keep in contact with her. I never thought i'd make a huge mistake. I never thought i had an episode of my life like this before. Mr Yong once said during a morning prayer this year that the life of someone are the chapters of his life. And we as student have just only begun writing our chapters. That 2 and a half years is a chapter. Everything in it, along with the feelings, the thoughts, the perceptions, the sights and the sounds. But like any other book with any other chapter, we can't remember all it's contents.

The following is something i wrote sometime back in April 2005, when i was still shattered over the break. Despite it happening 3 months before. It is entitled, 'Ironies'.

In the midst if life,

at one point or another,

you may discover,

that sometimes in life,

you may not always get what you wished for.

Ironically, the things you want may not be the things that you will get.

whereas others, can afford it.

While you stand there in admiration,

thinking about how to finance these pleasures,

you then realise that

you don't really want it anymore.

Menveer. Somehow, i mentored him. Somehow, he turned against me. I am a democratic leader. I admit that i do want power and control. However, not to the extent of being hungry for it. Menveer is one such person who is power hungry. Being in a world with the 'survival-of-the-fittest' attitude really stinks. I am not trying to be egoistical or anything but in my school's NPCC Unit, i am definitely the strongest leader in terms of knowledge and leadership. My OC and TOs however failed to realise that. My legacy will not remain for long. "Chee Keong has once took the unit all by himself". Apparently, they have failed to noticed the true meaning of leadership. It takes a leader to see through another leader. I am just wasting my time in this unit. My skills, my experience are wasted. NCOs that don't listen to me will lose a rifle and they did. I forsaw that. I really did. Intuition, some may say. The danger of losing something was right in my face and i knew it. "Logistics, stay inside the store. Record down and make those NCOs that borrow anything sign in and sign out.", Menveer said, "we've got our way of doing things". I've long given up on them. Now i know why many NCOs don't want to come back as a CI. Their advice isn't and will not be valued. Perhaps i should reconsider about becoming a CI.

Oh God, help me realise that somethings are really not in my control. Sometimes, the fire spreads wild enough to devour anything in its path. Father, it hurts when people don't listen to you. Therefore dad, i pray that you will help me listen to other people who needs help. People more worthy of advice and praise. People who are more grateful. At the same time, help me accept those that tried to correct me, be grateful and be worthy of more advice and praise.

All these i pray through Christ my Lord, Amen

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.
( 2 Corinthians 4:8)

I believe i can fly.

I want to motivate others to do what they have to do.

I shall make others move a step further when they could not.

I will make people dream of achieving things that they never even thought of.

XyeThesis

`'I have often dreamed, of a far off place. Where a hero's welcome, will be waiting for me. And the crowds will cheer, when they see my face. And a voice keeps saying, this is where i'm meant to be. I'll be there someday, i can go the distance. I will find my way, if i can be strong."

-Michael Bolton's, "I can go the distance". Taken from Hercules Soundtrack.