Welcome

Welcome to my frequency

There's an end to every beginning. Today is the day where the passion of fire for NPCC finally burns out. No matter how vicious and fervent a fire burns, it will eventually stop burning. However, every time it stops burning, the heat still stays on the ground. Friends have long told me to stop being so enthusiastic and just concentrate on my studies and have the social life that i had no been having for more than a year. Ever since i saw the need to raise the unit's former glory, i have been working very hard - to do my best, to try to restore it to it's usual state. It was fruitful when i first took over, though i could not do much as we had a shortage of manpower, i still however managed to maintain its standards. Ever since the new batch of NCOs took over, the unit has definitely fallen in a bottomless pit. One which takes a miracle from God to pull it back.

Sacrifices. Tears. Sweat. A leader has to give up to go up. Apparently i have sacrificed the things which i now only know that it is important to me when i served this unit as a NCO. I spent countless days to come up with new initiatives to help and improve the unit. Oftentimes i find myself carrying books on leadership, to learn and finally, to impart. I sacrificed my relationship with my girlfriend - the one who always cared about me and listened to my problems - when i told her i do not have time for her. I sacrificed my friendship with many. I sacrificed my time. Tears. I cried whenever i failed to help one of my friends. i was filled with vulnerability because no one except for me is following the dreams i see. As i look back on the times i had, the things people say about NPCC, i finally agree. "When you come back, no matter who you are, or what you've done; where you stand or how bad or good you've done to them, they will not listen to you". Lately i've been questioning, "why am i so into NPCC?” Apparently, i've got the answer. I want to save something. Something not every important to me. Something not very heart-warming. The thing that i want to save is the people in the unit. Mr Lim, Mr Ng, Miss Tan, the NCOs, the cadets and most importantly, the thing that i've stuck onto for a very long time, the passion.

My Dream
There'll be a day,
when i find a way,
to get around the things,
that will keep me from standing.

The dream of seeing everyone standing together as one.
The dream of seeing smiles on everyones face.
The dream of reviving the joy in them.
The dream of putting a fire within them.
The dream of seeing me, leaving the school, with my dreams fulfilled.

However, in the end, i am only dreaming...

"Friends are the people i love. They mean SO much to me, i'd die for them... of course, it has to be true friends you know? If you don't have your friends to support you, how'd you achieve your goals and dreams? Who will be there to celebrate with you, to cry for you, to be TRULY happy for you? Who would be there with a shoulder to cry on, and laugh at all the retarded things that happen? Who else will love you as much as your family does? Your friends." My friend Melissa wrote this to me. I've done a very stupid mistake. Sorry... I shouldn't have let go of you guys... Sorry.

In my dreams,
i see her again,
grateful,
i ask of nothing.
but she won't stay still.

Maybe i'm wrong. I shouldn't have doubted her. She feels too

There was this one time when my ex and i had together. It was memorable. She had to go to Chiangmai to do some CIP thing because she volunteered (she's very helpful). Therefore, i spent a night with her at her house. No we didn't do anything against the law (we were only sec 4 then, 15 years old). Ironically, her parents left for an overseas business trip, and therefore weren't at home at the time i bunked in at her home. So when she woke up (i was still asleep then) and when to the market to buy breakfast, i quickly awoke, and wrote on the post it note pads, "missing you when i'm...". She the first thing she saw when she came home was the post it on her front door. It said, "missing you when you leave this house". Then there was one in the kitchen (i figured she'll enter there), it said, "missing you when i'm cooking your favourite dishes".

At the computer table: "missing you when i'm surfing the net"
At the dining table: "missing you when i'm eating"
At the refrigerator: "missing you when i'm hungry"
At the TV: "missing you when i'm wasting my time watching flicks"
At the toilet door: "missing you when i'm in the shower"
At the radio: "missing you when i sing about you"
On her study table in her room: "missing you when i'm studying"

The last one was on me when she saw me. It read, "missing you when you're missing me". She hugged me on the spot and whispered an "i love you" to my ear. I miss her... 2 months later, i left her because i told her didn't have time for her (she cried so much that she stayed over at my place). for the next 2 months, whenever she saw me she held my hand until i told her off. Where she then cried on the spot. A year and a half later, which is now, she's still unattached... Thing is... She's got a pretty face. She's kind. She's got the nicest smile in the world. She's got guys after her. But she still longs that one day i have time for her...

You still keep those post-it notes.

XyeThesis
`Here I am, so alone, and there’s nothing in this world I can do…

Welcome

Welcome to my frequency

There's an end to every beginning. Today is the day where the passion of fire for NPCC finally burns out. No matter how vicious and fervent a fire burns, it will eventually stop burning. However, every time it stops burning, the heat still stays on the ground. Friends have long told me to stop being so enthusiastic and just concentrate on my studies and have the social life that i had no been having for more than a year. Ever since i saw the need to raise the unit's former glory, i have been working very hard - to do my best, to try to restore it to it's usual state. It was fruitful when i first took over, though i could not do much as we had a shortage of manpower, i still however managed to maintain its standards. Ever since the new batch of NCOs took over, the unit has definitely fallen in a bottomless pit. One which takes a miracle from God to pull it back.

Sacrifices. Tears. Sweat. A leader has to give up to go up. Apparently i have sacrificed the things which i now only know that it is important to me when i served this unit as a NCO. I spent countless days to come up with new initiatives to help and improve the unit. Oftentimes i find myself carrying books on leadership, to learn and finally, to impart. I sacrificed my relationship with my girlfriend - the one who always cared about me and listened to my problems - when i told her i do not have time for her. I sacrificed my friendship with many. I sacrificed my time. Tears. I cried whenever i failed to help one of my friends. i was filled with vulnerability because no one except for me is following the dreams i see. As i look back on the times i had, the things people say about NPCC, i finally agree. "When you come back, no matter who you are, or what you've done; where you stand or how bad or good you've done to them, they will not listen to you". Lately i've been questioning, "why am i so into NPCC?” Apparently, i've got the answer. I want to save something. Something not every important to me. Something not very heart-warming. The thing that i want to save is the people in the unit. Mr Lim, Mr Ng, Miss Tan, the NCOs, the cadets and most importantly, the thing that i've stuck onto for a very long time, the passion.

My Dream
There'll be a day,
when i find a way,
to get around the things,
that will keep me from standing.

The dream of seeing everyone standing together as one.
The dream of seeing smiles on everyones face.
The dream of reviving the joy in them.
The dream of putting a fire within them.
The dream of seeing me, leaving the school, with my dreams fulfilled.

However, in the end, i am only dreaming...

"Friends are the people i love. They mean SO much to me, i'd die for them... of course, it has to be true friends you know? If you don't have your friends to support you, how'd you achieve your goals and dreams? Who will be there to celebrate with you, to cry for you, to be TRULY happy for you? Who would be there with a shoulder to cry on, and laugh at all the retarded things that happen? Who else will love you as much as your family does? Your friends." My friend Melissa wrote this to me. I've done a very stupid mistake. Sorry... I shouldn't have let go of you guys... Sorry.

In my dreams,
i see her again,
grateful,
i ask of nothing.
but she won't stay still.

Maybe i'm wrong. I shouldn't have doubted her. She feels too

There was this one time when my ex and i had together. It was memorable. She had to go to Chiangmai to do some CIP thing because she volunteered (she's very helpful). Therefore, i spent a night with her at her house. No we didn't do anything against the law (we were only sec 4 then, 15 years old). Ironically, her parents left for an overseas business trip, and therefore weren't at home at the time i bunked in at her home. So when she woke up (i was still asleep then) and when to the market to buy breakfast, i quickly awoke, and wrote on the post it note pads, "missing you when i'm...". She the first thing she saw when she came home was the post it on her front door. It said, "missing you when you leave this house". Then there was one in the kitchen (i figured she'll enter there), it said, "missing you when i'm cooking your favourite dishes".

At the computer table: "missing you when i'm surfing the net"
At the dining table: "missing you when i'm eating"
At the refrigerator: "missing you when i'm hungry"
At the TV: "missing you when i'm wasting my time watching flicks"
At the toilet door: "missing you when i'm in the shower"
At the radio: "missing you when i sing about you"
On her study table in her room: "missing you when i'm studying"

The last one was on me when she saw me. It read, "missing you when you're missing me". She hugged me on the spot and whispered an "i love you" to my ear. I miss her... 2 months later, i left her because i told her didn't have time for her (she cried so much that she stayed over at my place). for the next 2 months, whenever she saw me she held my hand until i told her off. Where she then cried on the spot. A year and a half later, which is now, she's still unattached... Thing is... She's got a pretty face. She's kind. She's got the nicest smile in the world. She's got guys after her. But she still longs that one day i have time for her...

You still keep those post-it notes.

XyeThesis
`Here I am, so alone, and there’s nothing in this world I can do…